Ryan has officially been a big brother for a whole month now...and I think he is just now starting to realize that baby Grayson isn't going anywhere. I would love to say that Ryan is just loving being a big brother and is so helpful but that really couldn't be further from the truth. I know it's his age and he will grow out of it and one day they will be best friends....but for now Ryan isn't so sure about baby G. He was so great the first three weeks and then all of the sudden he decided to turn in to a little monster!
The first time he "acted" out was at kindermusik. The three of us headed to music and Ryan was acting fine. Grayson usually sleeps in his car seat but about 20 minutes into class he woke up and wanted to be held so I grabbed him. Woah - Ryan was not happy. He kept trying to sit in my lap and would push himself back but since Grayson was in my arms it limited him. He was mad - saying no and then pointing to the car seat where he wanted me to put Grayson. The whole time I had Grayson out Ryan upset and super sensitive. He was throwing little fits and screaming. It is so not like him to do that....especially in music! He loves that class so much! When I finally put G back in his car seat Ryan ran over and said "Yes, Yes!!!". Oh dear. It has begun.
A similar situation occurred at the Zoo (but without the tantrums, thankfully). Basically I had to pull Grayson out of his car seat to nurse him and the whole time Ryan kept asking me to put him back. I didn't think carting Grayson around to Ryan's activities would be an issue but I think Ryan really needs some one on one mommy time.
Ryan also noticed that Grayson is usually wrapped up in a blanket so he has started walking around saying "I cold" "Brr" and wants to be wrapped up too. It's actually really cute and kinda funny so I don't mind it at all. Ryan does know which blankets are his and he doesn't really like to share them with his brother...but he does't mind if Grayson shares his.
I try to include Ryan in things I do with Grayson. I ask him if he wants to help burp him, or hold him...which he always says "No". Ryan always thinks its funny when Grayson blows up his pants but he isn't super interested in helping (hmmm I guess I can't blame him). Ryan gets upset if we are playing with him and then have to tend to Grayson. For instance, Kevin always gets Ryan up in the morning and brings him downstairs. If Kevin then picks up Grayson Ryan will get mad at him. It doesn't last long...but he definitely notices when the attention goes from him to Grayson.
At home Ryan has been extremely whiney tends to cry/scream more than he talks. He has always been a little more on the sensitive side but this is extreme. I swear if you look at him the wrong way he goes bananas. Like nuts. To the point where you doubt EVERYTHING you have done as a parent and wonder how you created this little monster? Seriously, we have breakdowns getting dressed in the morning...(since when did he start caring about what he wears???), eating food (you can't make him eat, he will scream if you start to come near him with a forkful), and trying to leave the house is a monumental task. Last week we missed music and playgroup because I didn't have the energy to deal with him! He is talking a lot more but still doesn't communicate that great so it's hard for us to understand what he wants...which I think is one of the issues.
Oh dear...you know it's bad when your husband says (somewhat jokingly) "I like it better when he is asleep" and you know you kinda agree.
I feel horrible that I just admitted that...again, does that make us bad parents? I know part of this is just normal two year old behavior and a lot of it is a reaction to Grayson. I think he was ok for the first few weeks because we had so much family in town and he was still getting a lot of attention. I also think Ryan has been a little under the weather...and he is working on his two-year molars. I am hoping that is the case at least! Our saving grace has been that Ryan has been taking marathon naps (3+ hours) and also sleeping in late.
Today has actually been a pretty good day so we are pretty thrilled. We had a great morning at the park and are taking the boys to the fair when Ryan gets up from his nap. He has refused to wear a jacket today...and it's kinda chilly outside, but whateves. We are just rolling with it. I should probably put Grayson in a jacket and I bet he will want one then...lol.
As my Papu always says "This too shall pass" .. and I know it will. And I am sure we will have some fun stories to tell Ryan one day...and he will probably be embarrassed...but that's one of the perks of being a parent, right?
For now I will leave you with these adorable pictures of Ryan & Grayson....
He looks like he's pretty pumped to be a big brother...I think he is... he just hasn't realized it yet!
I SWEAR it gets so much easier and BETTER. Mia went through a similar thing. Mia had also just turned 2 when Cate was born. Loved her at first and I remember times around Cate being 5ish wks old where all 3 of us were crying. The first 8 wks of a new baby are just a hard adjustment all around. Mia also had a similar episode at our kindermusik .. that was our special activity just mia and mommy for nearly 2 yrs and all of a sudden, Cate was there w/ us intruding on our time. I could go on and on. Bottom line, is you know it will pass and get better. Just know it's a phase and he's adjusting to having a new little person around sharing your attention. Soon he won't remember life w/out him, and then you will have the blog to share with ryan all the memories when it was just him
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, all of that sounds pretty normal! Hang in there mama....time will fly by and one day I'm sure you'll look back on this and laugh. :)
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